Sabbath Delights: Stay on Target

Today I had the opportunity to speak in Stake Conference. A stake is an organizational unit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Areas of the world are divided geographically into wards, and then multiple wards come together to constitute a stake. Once a year, a stake conference replaces usual Sunday services and everyone gathers under one roof to hear from stake leaders. It's great :) Expect when you have give a talk in front of that many people ;) Just kidding--really the more people gathered to hear truth the better! Here is my talk on "staying on target" to the temple. 

Hello! My name is Emily Abel, and I am from the 5^th ward, but have been attending Utah State University studying English for the past year and a half. I am home from school now for a few weeks before I leave to serve as a missionary in Virginia.

Two weeks ago, I, like many of you, got to celebrated Christmas at home with my family. I love giving gifts, and thought about what I could give each member of my family on that day. For my dad, Timothy Abel, I purchased a small journal. But it wasn’t just any journal; in our home we have a running joke that my dad is slowly writing the 3^rd book of Timothy, in addition to the two found in the Holy Bible, with his bits of wisdom and life advice. So, on the front of that journal, I had Desert Book inscribe the words “3 Timothy”. Now we have fun writing down quotes from dad, whether they be comical, like the time he told my brother,

“I’m your dad: I will stop telling you how to drive when you can drive a stick-shift, backwards, with a trailer, up a hill, in the snow.”

Or more sober lines regarding what he’s discovered leads to a successful life. One phrase that Dad used to often repeat to us he borrowed from the fourth episode of Star Wars. In the climax of the movie, a fleet of pilots fly in to blow up the enemy planet, the Death Star. They have only one chance to make the perfect shot. Under the tension of saving their lives and the entire universe, one pilot repeats this simple instruction to himself: “Stay on target. Stay on target.” My dad would often repeat this while trying to get us to finish homework or a chore, but today I would like to apply this advice to preparing to make covenants in the Holy Temple of 

God. 

True preparation for entering the temple does not consist of a checklist of conference talks, pamphlets, or lessons, but of living a life that “stays on target” to the temple. Just like most things in the gospel, preparing for the temple is not a one or two-time event, it is not doing something, but becoming something. As Elder Bednar taught, “The issue is not going to or through the temple; rather, the issue is having in our hearts the spirit, the covenants, and ordinances of the Lord’s house.”[1] (close quote)

I entered the Holy Temple for the first time less than a month ago. While I was certainly not perfect in my preparations, the Stake Presidency asked me to express my thoughts on the subject, and I am humbled and happy to do so. I have a personal testimony that the Holy temple is where God wants us to be. And, it is where I want to be.

I am sure that the pilots in Star Wars learned to “stay on target” long before their fateful battle against the Death Star. It must have taken months of consistent effort before they knew how to navigate a space ship successfully. But I am sure that they did not regret a single day of practice when their abilities were put to the test. Similarly, consistent effort is required “stay on target” to the temple. I testify that the blessings of the temple more than outweigh any sacrifice you must make to prepare. Let’s leave the fictitious land of Star Wars and turn to a scriptural example of preparation.

In Matthew 25, we read of the parable of the five wise and the five foolish virgins. It says, 

“Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

“And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. …

“[They that were] wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

“While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

“And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

“Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

“And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

“But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

“And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

“Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.

“But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.”

The last line of this parable gives place to one of my favorite translations Joseph Smith added to the Bible. We know that rather than saying “I know you not” to the foolish virgins the Savior says, “Ye know me not.” I love this revision because it teaches that the Savior knows us. But it also shows that we must embark diligently on a journey to know him. It is one thing to hear about the Savior and his love and enabling power in Sunday School, but it is something completely different to experience it yourself. 

With that in mind, it becomes clear why the 5 wise virgins could not share their oil with the foolish. In this story the oil is not literal, but rather symbolic of spiritual preparation, and as Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught, “Spiritual Preparation cannot be shared.”  (close quote)  We are the only ones that can take action in preparing ourselves to enter the Holy Temple. President Spencer W. Kimball taught,

 “Attendance at sacrament meetings adds oil to our lamps, drop by drop over the years. Fasting, family prayer, home teaching, control of bodily appetites, preaching the gospel, studying the scriptures—each act of dedication and obedience is a drop added to our store. Deeds of kindness, payment of offerings and tithes, chaste thoughts and actions … —these, too, contribute importantly to the oil with which we can at midnight refuel our exhausted lamps.”  (close quote)

In retrospect, I can identify a few habits that added needed drops of oil to my lamp and kept me on target to the temple. First, I had a regular habit of doing baptisms for the dead. During the fall semester of school, I went to the Logan temple nearly every week. My efforts were rewarded with a personal witness of the goodness of spirit of the temple and how that goodness seeps into us when we spend time there. I began to recognize that I was more inclined to be kind, better able to resist temptation, and so full of hope after only thirty minutes in such a Holy place. I remember clearly one specific day when I paused outside the door to the baptistry. Despite the frigid Logan air, I tilted my head back and gazed up at the towering walls of the temple. At that moment, the spirit whispered to my heart, “You never need be afraid to come the temple.” I testify that the temple truly is the House of God a place of love and beauty. That spiritual witness gave me great peace and the strength to withstand worldly whirlwinds as I prepared to participate in the higher ordinances of the temple.

Another daily drop of oil I added to my lamp came through scripture study. Please don’t let the familiarity of this advice dull you to its great importance. I know that we must feast upon the words of Christ every day in order to get the spiritual nourishment we need. I developed a habit of daily scripture study during high school, and carried it with me to college. In the months leading up to my entering the temple, a common trend stood out to me in the scriptures. Such repeating trends are often an indication that Heavenly Father is trying to teach us something. What I noticed is taught in 2 Nephi 28 verse 30:

“For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more…”

Heavenly Father was beginning to teach me about receiving spiritual knowledge. While we may want to read the entire verse at once, God, in His infinite wisdom and perfect timing, gives us knowledge line by line. I saw this truth manifest through many lives in the Book of Mormon. An understanding of this principle was invaluable in beginning a life of temple worship. Understanding that I did not need to understand everything right away, enabled me to focus on the spirit of the temple and avoid feeling overwhelmed or confused. Elder Holland once called the temple, “The Lord’s University. “ (close quote) Would we expect ourselves to know as much as graduate student on our first day of freshman year? No, instead we take things one day, one class, one exam at a time. With each line of each textbook we get closer to graduating the educated student we imagined ourselves being. So to with the Holy Temple. As we come with humility, reverence, and a desire to learn we will be taught by the Spirit in the temple. Truly I was blessed for studying the scriptures.

I hope that all of us, whether or not we have yet entered the temple, will take action to “stay on target.” I know the Holy Temple is where God wants us to be. He loves us and I imagine He misses us, but in the Holy Temple we can feel close again. I promise you that there is nothing in this world that is worth sacrificing your temple recommend. The pure peace and joy within those Holy walls is irreplaceable. I love the Savior Jesus Christ, I know he lives and has a plan for you. Going to the temple is an important part of that plan. I offer my testimony of these things to you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

---

[1] “Becoming a Missionary” Elder David A. Bednar, October General Conference 2005

[2] “ATime of Urgency” Elder Marvin J. Ashton April General Conference 1974

[3] “FaithPrecedes the Miracle” President Spencer W. Kimball

Self-love on New Year's Eve

I don't know about you guys, but New Year's Day always seems to sneak up on me. The weeks leading up to Christmas are so busy and exciting that I hardly think about the upcoming new year. Then suddenly it's New Year's Eve, and I'm scribbling down a few thoughtless resolutions that, even as I write them, I know I won't keep. Consequently, I feel frustrated about my lack of self-reflection and goal setting. Really, I just feel frustrated about me.

Last year around this time, I was in a yoga class when the instructor said something that I found very refreshing. As we were ending our practice, she asked each of us if we would, in addition to our resolutions, make a list of things we were not going to change about ourselves. She told us to look inward and find the things we love about who we are and determine not to lose them. What is it about 19 year old Emily that I want to find in 20 and 21 year old Emily?

Isn't that refreshing?? As the commercial world begins to blow its promises of a newer, thinner, smarter, more organized, happier you, it is nice to remember that not everything needs to change. You already have special attributes and talents that are worth protecting. If we are entirely focused on what should change, we may lose sight of all the goodness that is already within us. Instead of jumping straight into nitpicking your every move, take a look at the positive changes 2016 brought to yourself.

I think too often we look back at our younger selves, and grimace over things we said, or did, or even just thought about; forgetting that he/she is the one that got us where we are now. This New Year's Eve I am trying to look back on 2016 with gratitude for 18 year old Emily. Gratitude for the good habits she picked up, for the friends she made, and the person she tried to become. Not everything went perfectly, but there was a lot of goodness in her heart that I'd like to keep a hold of.

I'll probably still end up making a list of resolutions. Who knows--maybe some of them will even happen this year.  But I hope that as I set out into the journey of 2017, I'll remember to invite all the goodness of 2016 along to help.

I Heart H4

Hello! I know, it has been a while. I could blame my absence on being a busy college student, but really I just fell out of the habit of writing every week. As this semester was some of the happiest four months in my life, I regret not having it better documented. But alas, onward and upward!

So remember earlier this summer when I wrote my first post about naming box elder bogs bob? Well, now it is time for another semester recap. To give you a general feel for Fall 2016, I find the words of Emily Dickinson more than appropriate:

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."

Oh how true this is. Having started my mission application during the summer months, I knew my time in apartment H4 was short. Jess and I quickly determined and I quote, that we were going to have "SO MUCH FUN" together as our time as roommates. Simple as that. My impending departure could make things bitter or sweet, and we were determined to have the latter. And "boy" (hehe) did we. 

We found ourselves living in the cutest, tiniest apartment with the sweetest, funniest girls. I had no idea it was possible to have so many good days in a row. Nor did I know about certain stomach muscles that began to ache from laughing alllllll day. Six girls with a love for life created an atmosphere constantly bubbling with laughter. Let me give you sample of some the shenanigans that went on daily in H4. My case in point, our waging war on the hair beasts. For those of you who are in blissful ignorance, a hair beast is a disgusting wad of hair created as feet drag across the carpet of an apartment of six girls. Nearly everyday, someone (okay usually just me or Becca. Everyone else had a bit more decorum) would shriek, "Ah!! HAIR BEAST!" While pulling a long train of entangled blonde and dark hair from the carpet. We would when then both giggle and gag our way to the nearest garbage can. Soon the beasts took on a new tactic we deemed psychological warfare. Basically, you would feel one under your foot only to look and see nothing but innocent carpet. We often threatened to report the beasts to the UN for this unfair warfare. And we can't forget the panic that ensued after Becca found one lounging on her bed. That was low. In an effort to fight back, we posted a sticky note notice on the wall that read, "Please, do not feed the hair beasts." It didn't really work. After four months of diligent combat, I think we had to succumb to their superior intellect. I mean, we were basically fighting ourselves. Good luck next semester girls.

Looking back, I think part of what made the laughter come so easily was a genuine love for each other. We were always looking for ways to serve, whether that be making a bed or sharing a dinner. "How are you?" "How was your test?" "Did you talk to him?" Were all questions asked with deep sincerity and an ear ready to listen (especially the last one ;)). It felt so good to be cared about while away from home. We often referred to each other as a team. Charging out the front door in the morning chanting, "Gooo team!" Or sarcastically after an embarrassing conversation, "ah, go team." This kind letter from Jess, which I found waiting on my bed along with concerned roommates who wanted to make sure I got home safe, is just one example:

Living with Jess is great because there is never a shortage of "Christian and his cute friends" equivalents :). Thanks for teaching me about loving your fellow men team :) I know from living with you, that kindness is always the right way to go. 

And I can't write about Fall 2016 without mentioning our EPIC dance parties. Like, dripping sweat after three minutes kind of EPIC. Here is our usual playlist: 

*Note: "Come on Eileen" was always played first, if not multiple times. It really became the H4 anthem ;)

1. Come on Eileen

2. I Would Walk 500 Miles

3. Sweet Caroline

4. All About that Bass

5. One Call Away

We would turn off all the lights, except the blue strand around our window, and rock out while sweet Chrystal laughed at us from the couch. Thanks for teaching me there is no better stress reliever than a crazy dance party team. (okay I already knew that, but thanks for indulging me ;)).

Sam suggested that we do a roommate gift exchange to finish out the semester. I'm so glad we had her to keep us doing fun things and thinking about others :) We ended up having the best time picking out gifts for our person and stuffing stockings on "fake" Christmas morning. I made this little video to show on our Christmas morning of pictures from throughout the semester. Then we all went out to breakfast at Angie's. It was a wonderful ending to a wonderful semester. 

I would say moving out was bittersweet, but thanks to Maya, Sam, Chrystal, Becca and Jess it truly was just..........sweet.

Thanks team.

Video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-J9rVccPQpUc2N5VnVFTHduMHM/view?usp=sharing

Sabbath Delights: Speaking of Obedience

Today I gave a talk in sacrament meeting! Besides the nerves that inevitably come right before you stand up to speak, I really enjoy the whole process of speaking in church. I love studying up on a subject in preparation and I actually enjoy delivering my thoughts as well. My bishop had actually asked me to speak a few weeks ago, but I had to reschedule because of my cousin Steven's mission farewell. Speaking the Sunday after Thanksgiving meant we were combined with another YSA ward. While we were few in numbers, in was still a great church service!

Morgan, Steven and I at his farewell. He is headed to the Rome, Italy Mission!

As soon as I sat down from giving my talk, I immediately began to think of all the other things I could have said. Or how I could have studied more over the break. But I think we all do that. We just have to trust that something we said something right and move forward with what we learned.

Here is a copy of my talk on obedience if you'd care to read: 

Good morning! My name is Emily Abel and I am from Kaysville Utah. I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to you all today. I always love the study that precedes giving a talk, and I hope the Spirit will be here today as I try and share some of what I learned with you today.

I love the simple truths taught through primary songs. How comforting are these familiar words: ‘I am a Child of God and He has sent me here. Rich blessings are in store; If I but learn to do his will, I'll live with him once more. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do To live with him someday.’

or

‘Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father’s plan. I always want to be with my own family and the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can’

 And one of my favorites:

 ‘Because I want to be like the Savior, and I can,

I’m reading His instructions, I’m following His plan.

Because I want the power His word will give to me,

I’m changing how I live, I’m changing what I’ll be

Scripture power keeps me safe from sin.

Scripture power is the power to win.

Scripture power! Ev’ry day I need

The power that I get each time I read.

Each of these songs teaches us about the patterns of obedience and the subsequent blessings. Rich blessings are in store through Heavenly Father’s perfect instructions for us, His imperfect children. His laws and commandments are in place not to restrict us, but to set us free and give us power. Let me share an instance from my own life when being obedient brought me very real blessings.

During a particularly busy week at school, not a song, but an object lesson I once saw in primary was on my mind. It took me a few days to realize that it was the Spirit teaching me how I was to fulfill all my responsibilities that week. Please use your imagination as I describe the lesson. The teacher had two large, empty glass jars on a table. Next to the jars sat a plastic bag full of sand, a pile of pebbles, and a pile of larger rocks. She told us that the jars represented us and our time. The large rocks represented the really important things we need to do each week. Things like scripture study, meaningful prayer, time with family, or fulfilling our callings at church. The pebbles she said, represented things in our lives that are still important, but not as essential. Things like homework or daily exercise. The sand she said, was the fun things we do, like watching a movie with friends or playing a video game. The teacher then opened the bag of sand and poured half of it into one of the empty jars. On top of the sand, she put a handful of the pebbles. By this point, the jar was nearly full and there was only room for one or two of the large rocks. She told us that this is what happens when we choose to put the unimportant things first in our lives: we won’t have time for the things that really matter. Then she turned to the remaining empty jar. This time, she put the large rocks in first, they all fit. Then she put the pebbles on top, they too all fit in as they fell in between the gaps of the large rocks. Lastly, she poured the remaining sand into the jar. The sand wiggled its away around the rocks and pebbles and everything could fit in the jar.

I realized that my remembering this lesson was the Spirit whispering to me that if I was obedient and focused on making the Christ the center of each day, through scripture study, prayer and institute attendance, I would be able to survive that week. After the important rocks were in place, everything else would find its place. Elder Christofferson taught this when he said,

“Once adequate time and means….for centering our lives in Christ, have been put in place, we can begin to add other responsibilities and things of value insofar as time and resources will permit…. In this way, the essential will not be crowded out of our lives by the merely good, and things of lesser value will take a lower priority or fall away altogether.” 

I testify of the truth of that statement. During that busy week, I made meaningful scripture study a priority even if it meant waking up an hour earlier than was necessary. I viewed that hour of morning scripture reading not as lost study time, but as a means to enhance my school studies. After reading, I had a very real sense of calm and happiness despite my packed schedule. This peace made it easier for me to study effectively. It turns out the primary song is right, every day I need the power that I get each time I read.

The scriptures themselves have no shortage of examples of obedience. In the Book of Mormon, Lehi was obedient in the face of a daunting unknown future, something many of us as young adults are facing. He left the comfort and security of Jerusalem and took his large family into the vast, uncharted wilderness. The Lord gave him means of direction, but, as we read in 1 Nephi 16:28 this compass only worked according to the faith and diligence and heed which they did give unto it. I think this is very applicable to our own lives: the means for divine strength and guidance are available to us, but we must have the faith, act with diligence and heed the direction we are given. One way I think we can show that faith and diligence is by placing ourselves in circumstances where Heavenly Father can communicate with us. We need to show by our actions that we desire His help. This may mean attending all three hours of church, coming to dorm prayer, going institute. Really seeking every opportunity to receive answers to our pleas for help.

And of course, Lehi’s son Nephi is the very archetype of an obedience. His motto of ‘I will go and do’ leads his life. We see it in his persistence in obtaining the brass plates, not giving up when at first he is unsuccessful. And later on we see it in his immediate willingness to follow the command to build a ship. Not questioning if it could be done, but only asking where to start. Truly obedience is what made Nephi great.

There are many other, but our greatest example of obedience comes, of course, from the Savior Jesus Christ.

Elder Hales taught, “… of all the lessons we learn from the life of the Savior, none is more clear and powerful than the lesson of obedience.”  He goes on,

"As our understanding of obedience deepens, we recognize the essential role of agency. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed three times to His Father in Heaven, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” God would not override the Savior’s agency, yet He mercifully sent an angel to strengthen His Beloved Son.

The Savior met another test on Golgotha, where He could have called upon legions of angels to take Him down from the cross, but He made His own choice to obediently endure to the end and complete His atoning sacrifice, even though it meant great suffering, even death." 

I wonder if a lifetime of obedient living prepared the Savior to endure at this crucial moment. Through obedience, he had come to love and trust His Father perfectly, and he let that love motivate him to complete his great sacrifice.

I have been called to share this great message of love as a full time missionary in the Virginia Richmond Mission. I hope to follow my Savior’s example in letting my love for Heavenly Father motivate me to be obedient. In the packet that accompanies a call to serve, there is a letter from the first presidency of the church. A portion of that letter reads: “As you continue to read and study the scriptures, you will increase your personal knowledge and testimony of the Savior and His gospel. You will be motivated to be obedient and to work hard.”

I testify that as we study the life of our Savior in the scriptures we CAN find the motivation and faith to be obedient. President Uchtdorf taught us this when he said,

“Over time, you will recognize His hand in your life. You will feel His love. And the desire to walk in His light and follow His way will grow with every step of faith you take. We call these steps of faith “obedience.” 

Commandments that now may seem a burden to us will become our wings. That which we don’t understand can become clear to us overtime. It is my prayer that we can all examine our desires and motivations to see where we can better align ourselves with the Savior’s great plan of becoming. His plan isn’t our last chance, but our only chance. I testify that his atonement and gospel will make more of out of our lives than we ever could on our own. He is truly the way, the truth, and the life. I am so grateful for my membership in his restored church.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder Christofferson: "How to Make Christ the Center of our Lives" 

Elder Hales: "If Ye Love Me Keep My Commandments"

President Uchtdorf: "He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home"

Sabbath Delights: Weekday thoughts

I hope you have realized how much I love the Sabbath day by now. If not, let me give you another reason. On Sunday, at least for me, the thoughts (good and bad) and impressions I had during the week always seem to come together and their higher purpose illuminated. I am able to look back on experiences and better see them for what they were. Things that I deemed insignificant reveal their importance. I testify of dear President Packer's words: "There is a process by which pure intelligence can flow, by which we can come to know of a surety, nothing doubting." I feel I have experienced, at least in small part, that flow of pure of intelligence. And I have found it to be the most desirable experience of my life.

Today I was reminded of a fleeting thought I had in the Logan Temple on Saturday. It was special at the time, but became even more so as I pondered over it today. Saturday morning brought a 5:30 AM wake up call to go to the temple with my roommate Chrystal and two of her friends. It was a beautiful morning, and miraculously I didn't feel the least bit tired. As a matter of fact, I was filled with happiness the second my confused brain could wake up and remember why I was getting up before the sun. In the dressing room of the baptistery, there was this sweet, elderly temple worker sitting in a chair in the corner. I'm not sure what her actual assignment was; she seemed to just sit and smile and offer direction when needed. As I walked past her, I felt a lot of love wrap around my heart. Here was a humble, covenant-keeping woman serving simply as she had been asked to, in a small corner of the Logan, Utah temple. She was not addressing a large crowd, or planning a large event, or even orchestrating that baptistery. This sweet lady was sitting, smiling and offering pure service, in a locker room. The Spirit whispered to me that her sacrifice was just as appreciated, accepted and honored by the Savior than any other more noticeable calling. Service to the Lord is service. Visibility does not equal value. :) 

"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" ~Mosiah 2:17

You never know what you'll learn at the temple eh?

My Mission Call

A half an hour before midnight on August 31, 1997, I was brought into this world.

Oooo dramatic ;) But really, the timing of my birth has proved to be significant on occasion. With such a late summer birthday, I was nearly always the youngest in my class. I only noticed the gap on special years like 8, 12 and 16. But I didn't anticipate how the gap would widen when it came time for missions. There are several sisters from my class that will come home just a few months after I leave! And most of the boys later this next semester. That makes it feel huge. Buy hey, everyone will be back for my homecoming right? :)

When a member chooses to serve a mission, they are interviewed by their local church leaders, fill out a thorough online application and submit it to the First Presidency of the Church. Culture has dubbed this process 'the mission papers.' Then two or three weeks later the potential missionary will receive a large white envelope in the mail. Inside that envelope is a letter from the office of the Presidency assigning that missionary to one of the 300-plus missions. There is no requesting a specific area of service, rather, each call is assigned by a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I offer my personal testimony that mission calls come from God through His servants. To read more on the assigning process read this beautiful talk from Elder Rasband: The Divine Call of a Missionary.

Receiving a mission call is a very sacred, powerful experience in a young person's life. Many choose to invite friends and family over to their home to share in the excitement of opening the envelope. Some people even turn it into a full blown party with food and decorations. Throughout my senior year and the following summer, I attended many of these what we call 'openings.' It is so fun to watch the missionaries faces' light up as they read where they have been assigned to serve.

But it is a different experience entirely when the call has your name on it. Here is my 'call story'.

I decided to have my call sent to my home, rather than my college dorm. My Stake President submitted my application on Sunday September 11. I wasn't too nervous the following week, knowing there was no way it would come that week. The next, though, I was checking my phone constantly waiting for that special text Here's a little sample of what went on between 12 and 2 everyday haha:

By third week, I wasn't feeling as nervous oddly enough. Whenever people would ask me where I wanted to go, I would reply by saying I didn't care, I just wanted to know where!

The week my call did come was a rough one. I was physically exhausted, which has a tendency to make me emotionally exhausted as well. There just seemed to be so much negativity, darkness, and doubt shoved into my hands that week and I was having a hard time putting it down. Thursday mornings I have a literary analysis class. I love it, but our discussions can sometimes be disheartening as people express their disbelief in God and religion. Usually I look forward to and find these discussion engaging, but that day(September 30th) I just felt overwhelming and flustered. How could I help these wonderful people see the reality of heavenly guidance in their life? I walked out of the English building beaten down and frankly just ready to find a tree to cry behind. I didn't have time to, however, and marched to the Institute for my mission preparation class haha :)

And of course, on the day that I needed a boost the most, this text arrived:

Now there was no way I could not cry! I sniffled my way all through mission prep. I could not go home and open in that day, because I had an important test the next morning. But alll dayyy long I kept staring at that while envelope with MY name on it. My test went well, then Jess and I headed for home at about 4 o'clock. We made a little video along the way to send to Golda: (and no I didn't realize it was upside down haha)

We got home around 5:15. Jess dropped me off and then left to go to a theater thing. I walked in my house and Austin handed me my call.

 I just hugged it and wouldn't let anyone touch it haha! I had to wait another half hour for everyone to come home, because I wanted my whole family to be there. I decided not to have a large 'opening' party--I wanted this to be a special day just with my immediate family. We all gathered in the living room and I asked my dad to say a prayer before we got started. I then proceed to struggle to get that envelope open! Seriously it was closed up tight haha. While I worked on it, my family called out their guesses. I didn't feel nervous at all until I could I got the envelope open enough to see the call letter. Not even my assignment, just the call itself sent my heart racing like crazy. I was about to read where the Lord would have me serve His children for 18 months. The enormity of the moment hit me like tsunami.

In the weeks leading up to my call, I prayed everyday to be spiritual ready to receive my call. I desired a spiritual confirmation that this was the place Heavenly Father had called me to. When I read out 'Virginia Richmond Mission', I was frankly really surprised. I had never considered Virginia! I had, for a plethora of reasons I won't go into, convinced myself that I was going to have to learn a foreign language. I really believed that. The idea of foreign speaking scared me, but I convinced myself that I was ready to do it. So yeah, a Stateside English-speaking language really surprised, I might even say shocked, me. But the Spirit whispered the words of Isaiah 55:9 to my heart:

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

That spiritual confirmation I had prayed did come, just not as immediately as I thought. It took some time for me to get off my high horse. As I watched General Conference over the next two days, however, my re-occurring thought was this: I don't want to go anywhere but Richmond, Virginia!!! Heavenly Father has called me there and His ways are perfect! Why would I wish for anything else!

Those feelings still very much remain, but sometimes they get shadowed by fear and doubt. But I found scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants to be my savior:

Look unto me in every thought, not to Virginia's humidity, not to my imperfections, not to the nonbelievers, not to how long 18 months may seem, but unto Him. Then that last line comes naturally. Doubts and fears fade away when you stop thinking about them :) 

Thank you for all your support. I love Richmond, Virginia and can't wait to be a sister missionary for Christ's restored church.

Sabbath Delights: Then it's easy.

Our home kitchen table is a generous host. It graciously welcomes paint stains, nail polish remover (sorry mom), messy spaghetti dinners, melted wax from birthday cakes, and all without a single complaint. It has also served as a backdrop to countless math study sessions. Nearly every evening in high school our kitchen table provided me a place to sprawl out all of my textbooks and crumpled papers. A busy dance schedule meant I usually didn't begin homework until nine p.m. or later. But no matter how late I struggled through math questions, my Dad always sat right next to me. Willing and anxious to help. Without a single complaint. 

Thanks to my brilliant father, I sure memorized a lot of equations, formulas and theories at that kitchen table. But to be perfectly honest, I don't remember hardly any of them ('hardly' is a bit generous...). There some lessons from those study session, however, I that I don't think I'll ever forget. One instance in particular has been flashing in my mind the past few days. 

One night, in my frustration over some math concept, I yelled out, "Dad this is too hard! I can't do it!" My Dad, in his ever mild-tempered manner, just said, "Emily, it is only hard until you understand. Then it's easy." I just kinda went, 'Oh duh.' Once I could understand the equations then all the problems became easy. 

Want to know why that conversation has stuck with me? Me too :) Lately, I think it's because his advice doesn't just apply to math problems. The application can be much more difficult, but it's still true. 

Brigham Young, second president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, once said:

"Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.

'Necessary'--that is a bold statement. But I also find it immensely comforting. Believing that all the unfair, painful and frustrating things are in actuality preparing us for salvation is precious. God doesn't give us hardship without divine reasoning. He wants to mold us into the best, highest, happiest versions of ourselves. Some things we may understand now, and some not until the next life, but it will all make sense someday. In the meantime we can find peace. My Dad's method for math homework is helpful in that regard: find the right equation (prayerfully try and see how this may refine you), then plug and chug the numbers (endure with hope) until you reach an answer.

good night friends :)